Letters from De Nam
by Kirux
Summary: Ever since we met in Shella, you have been sending me letters. At first the were interesting, but now they frighten me. De Nam, please be safe. Rated 'M' because of a certain four letter word that sounds like tuck. Now updating for your veiwing pleasure.
1. Prologue

To the readers: Okay so this is my first Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles story. I wrote this because I felt a need to write it, and I don't see a lot of stories on De Nam. Which is a total pity because he may very well have been one of my favourite characters. If you're not exactly sure who De Nam is, not to fret. I will explain in the story. I know that my none of my chronicle entries or letters are correct. but I changed them to make it fit in with the story I'm trying to tell. Also, if I'm using to many three dollar words, please tell me and I'll try to fix that, though it's kinda hard for me. (I don't mean to insult anyone with this statement. So please don't hate mail me!!!)  
Thanks for reading,  
Kirux

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Disclaimer: I'm not exactly sure who owns FFCC but I know it's not me.

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Letters from De Nam  
-Chapter One-

* * *

Year Three

Today I visited Shella. I was lucky that I had found that Shella Mark in Alfitaria, for I wouldn't have been allowed in otherwise. When I got into the city it was rather cold and it made me wonder if Tipa and Shella could really belong in the same world. It's a silly question, I know, but I thought it nonetheless.

Shella is the city of Yukes. I find them rather perplexing, seeing as I have never seen one with out it's face covered. Someone once said that they were only spirits and had no bodies. I laughed at them, how could they wear clothing if they have no bodies?

While there, I met a Selkie researcher. It was nice seeing one of my own tribe after travelling for so long with only Mog to keep me company. He introduced himself as De Nam and bodly stated that he would find away to rid the world of miasma, and if he couldn't do that, he would find a way to live in it. I doubted that he could do it, but I encouraged him anways. He called my bluff and seemed angry at me for lieing to him. I apologized to him and told him that I was a caravaner and highly doubted that there would ever be a way to rid the world of miasma.

He looked at me, surveying me to see if he believed I was actually with a caravan. I was embarrassed because I know I look awful. My short grey hair curls out at the ends and I haven't been able to brush it awhile so its trully tangled. The once white fur on my collar and wrists is now a dingy brown colour, and my sleeves and skirt are tattered and no longer purple. My sandels are falling apart and my feet are cut up from months of travel in search of myrrh.

He nodded, accepting what I said as the truth and apologized for getting so upset. I told him it was alright and that I shouldn't have lied to him. He invited me to stay at his place tonight before I head for Veo Lu Sluice in the morning. I accpeted his offer and I'm heading there now. I can't wait to hear

* * *

I closed the huge book that I used to chronicle my endevours and placed it into my wagon. I petted my papaopamus, who I affectionately call Pao-Pao, and started towards De Nam's house. He lived on the upper left side of town where the professor gives lessons during the day time. I passed Eleonor and waved at her. She waved her hand back once, as all Yukes do. I had talked to earlier and she told me an interesting theory about the crystals and the monsters. I continued to walk past the crystal and found my way to the apartment building where De Nam lived. I found myself suddenly nervous. I hope I don't do anything to upset him again. I stood there and knocked on his door. I heard the crash of glass and felt more nervous than ever. I wasn't even this rattled when I fought Jack Mochet. The door suddenly opened and De Nam stood there looking dismayed.

"Oh its you," He moved his goggles from over his eyes to on top of his head and gestured his rubber gloved covered hand for me to come in, "I lost track of time experimenting. You startled me when you knocked, so please don't mind the mess."

"It's okay," I entered and looked around. It was a quaint apartment, smaller than my home back in Tipa, yet bigger than a moogle's nest. As I looked around I spotted a hole in the floor with many pieces of broken glass around it, "What were you experimenting with to cause that hole?"

"A very nasty chemical that you do NOT want anywhere near you," he shut the dopr and walked over to the table with his equipment on it and picked up a box and started sprinkling a white powder around the hole and in it, "This is to neutralize the acid. It'll take me awhile to clean up here. If you want to, you may use my bathroom to tidy up as well. No offense, but you're rather dirty and smell like Orc guts."

"No offense taken," but I did wonder how he knew what Orc guts smelled like, "and I would be very pleased to shower. Where's your bathroom?"

He told me where it was and said that he had already laid out a towel and some spare clothes for me. He also explained that he was going to 'offer' me to let his bathroom no matter what. I took the hint and made my way to the room.

It was a nice sized room with one of those showers that could also be a bathtub. I found the towel and clothes he was talking about on a shelf next to the shampoo, conditioner, soap, and a washclothe. I started the water to let it get a chance to heat up and disrobed, wrapping my towel around me as a precaution. I spotted my reflection in the corner of my eye and turned to get a better look.

I looked worse than I had originally thought.

My hair had grown considerably, and was so knotted at the ends that I knew I would have to cut it to get some of them out. I could very clearly see my tan lines, seeing as I am a naturally pale person. I also took account of all my scars. Some of my wounds were superficial and didn't leave any, but other were very obvious. I saw one in particular that I knew would be with me forever. It was huge gash from my right shoulder down to my left hip. It was a parting gift from the Armstrong at Tida. I was lucky have had a pheonix down handy that day. I was also lucky that one of those annoying skeleton mages had casted fire on me and instanly caterized the wound or I may ended up bleeding to death anyways. That always confused me about magic, especially fire. It can caterize wounds, singe my clothing, burn plants, but I've never had any burns on my skin. I shrugged it off and decided the water was warm enough. Dropping my towel and grabbing the stuff off the shelf I stepped into the shower and felt the most soothing pain of my life. They hot water fell over me and relaxed all my muscels. It also got on my feet and into some of the not so healed wounds there. I looked down and was repulsed by the amunt of filth washing off of me. The water running down the drain was all but black. I set to work scrubbing myself off.

When I had decided that I was presentable, I dried off and put on the clothes De Nam had set out for me. I was amazed that they were a female Selkie's garb. They were a little loose, but I could take them in a little. If all else failed I could repair my old ones or send to my mom and dad for a new set of clothing. I took the brush with me and left the room. As I walked down the hall I spotted De Nam in the kitchen preparing some food.

"You're finally out of the shower," he turned around to look at me. His eyes widened a little and I think he started blushing because he promptly turn back around and coughed once, "I thought you may have drowned."

"No, it just took a really long time to get all that grime off of me," I started to run the brush threw my hair and found that most of the tangles had loosened with the conditioner. I would still need a haircut, but I don't think that I'll be able to managed that until I get home.

"I could imagine," he started to chop some star carrots, "I never did get your name."

"Oh," How stupid of me. Here I was taking full advantage of this boy's hospitality and I had never once introduced myself, "My name is Kirux, I'm the crystal caravaner from Tipa."

"I'd say nice to meet you, but it's a little late for that," He dumped the carrots into a pot than started to dice some gourd patatoes, "I'm just making a simple stew. I hope you don't mid vegetables."

"Oh don't worry I like just about everything. Traveling around you don't get the chance to become picky about what you eat," The stew smelled really good and my stomache made a really ooud noise, "Sorry about that."

"That is totally okay, I understand," He dropped the potatoes into the stew and covered it with a lid, "That'll be about half an hour."

"I've gone longer," I sat down on one of the dining room chairs and started to fight a rather obnoxious knot. The sad part was, I was losing.

"It looks like it, you have to be about fifteen pounds underweight," He wiped his hands off and turned to look at me, "That's one of the reasons I left my caravan."

I tored my attention away from the evil knot and looked up at him, "You were in a caravan?"

"Yes, Lueda's," he sat down in the chair across from me, "but I got a really bad injury one day on the way here from Alfitaria. The other caravaners said they could wait for me to heal, but I knew it would take too long. I told them to go on without me and I've been living here ever since."

"The Yukes let you?" They seemed like such a private people. I mean, they have a fricking bouncer at the entrence.

"Yes, and they even taught me something about the world I hadn't already experienced. That why I'm always doing experiments, to find things out by myself," I gazed past me lost in his fantasy, "Like with the miasma, where did it come from? Why can't we live in it, yet moogles and monsters can? What makes it so deadly to us? What is myrrh made of and why do the crystals need it to keep the miasma at bay? What enables the crystals to repel the miasma in the first place? There are so many questions that need to be answered."

"Yes thre are," I looked at him, truly listening and wondering with him, "It's really nice to see a Selkie with bigger dreams than hitting pay dirt with his next theft victim."

"Heh, the Striped Brigande, I assume?" He turned and smiled at me. I don't know why but I felt myself blush a little bit.

"Yeah," I turned away, "I've had a couple run-ins with them."

"They're a bunch of push-overs, most of the time all you have to do is throw a striped apple or two at them and the leave you alone," He got up and got two glasses out of a cabinet. He turned the faucet on and let it run for a few seconds, filled up the glasses and walked back to the table offering me a glass. I accepted and smiled shyly at him.

When the soup was done we ate and talked more. I told him about my family and Tipa. He asked how long I had been a caravaner and I pretty much recieted my entire chronicle book to him. When it got really dark outside he let me sleep in his bed while he slept on the couch. I fell asleep smiling that night, wishing I never had to wake up. I wished this because I didn't want to leave this place. It felt so much like home.

But alas, morning came and I had to continue my quest for myrrh. De Nam gave me a lot of produce and a couple flasks of water. He said that he would write whenever he thought to and that I should come visit him the next time I was in this part of the world. He walked me to Pao-Pao and looked over at me.

"I really liked talking to you," he blushed a little, "I know it's not much, but I want you to know that your travels have inspired me a little. You are welcome in my house anytime, wether I'm there or not."

"Thanks, De Nam, " I didn't stop to think about why he wouldn't be there. I grab Pao-Pao reins and left Shella tunring back once to wave at De Nam. I had never been that sad before, not even when I left home for the first time. I didn't understand why either. I shrugged it off and went along my way.


	2. Year Three

To the reader(s): Hi! I promised I wouldn't abandon this story, and even though it may have seemed like I did, you can rest assured that I didn't. I had a severe lack of motivation to do anything (ask my math teacher, he'll vouch for me) but the school year is almost out, and that means I get to write, write, write. I've figured out how these chapters are going to be set up, and it turns out that each chapter is going to be an entire year, excluding the preface and epilogue. That, with the added bonus of me actually going on the net and playing the game to check certain things, means that each chapter is going to take awhile to complete. Once again, I know that my letters and entries aren't right, and that the dialogues for my encounters aren't on par either. I'm taking majour creative liberties and if it turns out to be too much of a problem…oh well…you can deal. Or complain in a nice long review! XD  
Please enjoy and don't be afraid to give feedback!  
-Kirux

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Disclaimer: I don't own FFCC, but I did just make some awesome new drapes. Whoo! I own something at last!

* * *

Letters from De Nam  
Chapter Two: Year Three

* * *

Year Three

I had a great time in Veo Lu Sluice today. Between the water flans and griffins and lizardmen trying to kill me, I got to venture out into the miasma to gather stupid keys that would only show up after I put the crystal chalice on a switch to activate a geyser that shot up, carrying the key with it. Who put the keys down there anyways? Why did they feel the need to do that every time someone came along and put them in the pedestals where they belonged? I digress…

Supposedly the myrrh tree grew here in celebration of the peace the sluice represents. Much to my chagrin, it just happened to sprout right past the Golem who is supposed to be guarding the sluice from monsters. It's failing miserably and should probably be checked out by whomever created it, probably the Yukes.

I guess fighting annoying monsters and dealing with inconsistencies just go along with the job of crystal caravaners and it goes to prove the saying 'no pain, no gain.' Did I mention I hate that saying?

* * *

I put my pen down and closed my chronicle. I leaned back against the myrrh tree and closed my eyes. I'm not sure exactly how long I had been like that, but the next thing I knew I was being yelled at by a mail moogle.

"Hey! You there! Wake up! I've got mail for you, kupo!" I opened my eyes and saw the little guy (or girl, I can never really tell the genders apart) hovering in front of me with quite a few letters in it's little paws. I opened my hands out in front of me and the moogle dropped them quickly before landing and waddling off to go talk to Mog.

First letter was from mom. Oh great, she had accidentally sent me her shopping list…again. I sighed and scribbled a quick "I'll send what I can," at the bottom of the letter before fishing out a bunch of rainbow grapes and setting it on the letter. Next was a letter from my brother, telling me that once again he killed that flower seed I had sent them. I shook my head and laughed, that boy had the worst gardening skills in the entire town. "Try asking the farmers for help next time," I wrote on the back of his letter. I grumbled and started to rummage around my bag for that flower seed I had found just recently. Letting out a triumphant "Ha!" I grabbed it and set it on the letter from my brother. The last letter surprised me, the front reading 'From De Nam.'

_Dear Kirux;  
__After you left, I decided that to fully understand something, I have to go experience it for myself. You inspired me to go out and risk my life for something I believe in, like you have been doing these past few years. I heard there may be clues in Conall Curach, the place our Selkie forefathers once tried to turn into a home for our tribe. I do not know how long I will be here. I left my house key under the flower on the windowsill, please use it whenever you are in the area and need a rest. I will continue to keep you posted, unless you do not want me to.  
__Please take care,  
__De Nam_

I quickly opened my chronicle book and turn to a page in the back. Picking up my pen, I began to write a response.

_Dear De Nam,  
__I'm glad you decided to write me. I have heard terrifying stories about the monsters in Conall Curach so do try and be careful.  
__I am very grateful to you for letting me use your house while on my journey for myrrh. I will take care of it as much and as often as I can. It will be nice to have a place that feels like home, even though I will be far from mine.  
__Please do continue to write me. All I ever get are letters from my family, and even they are getting lame. My mother just sent me her grocery list by accident again. Sometimes I wonder if they even ever remember I exist.  
__I wish you the best of luck,  
__Kirux_

I ripped out the letter and folded it neatly in half. I sent along a spare striped apple because I know that no matter where you came from all Selkies love striped apples. The moogle saw me finish my letters and trotted back over to me.

"You seem rather popular today," he threw his mail bag down in front of me and I carefully placed all my responses and attachments inside of the leather satchel. I patted his little bonbon and gave him a cherry cluster. He accepted readily and put his mailbag on and began to hover again, "I've got your replies, Kupo!" He shouted and than flew off.

I stood up and dusted off myself. With only one drop of myrrh collected, I had to get a move on to find and collect the rest. I decided to cross the Jegon River next, and see what awaits me in the Fields of Fum.

* * *

Year Three

I saw Gurdy again today. This time he was trying to swindle the caravan from Fum. I guess he had promised to get a package somewhere faster than a moogle. He didn't keep his word, and now Sheula is having a fit demanding a refund. He looked at me pleadingly and I asked her how much she owed him.

"One thousand gil!" She proclaimed holding her hand out.

I sighed and paid her in place of him. She was rather scary. Than again all Clavats are whenever they openly show rage. Gurdy smiled a thank you at me.

"I didn't expect every package to be produce," he stood on a stump and looked up towards the sky, "It all rotted before I could get anywhere near their destinations," He sighed, "_Of crumbled inn few reminisce, it's faulty beams will not be missed._"

I looked at him quizzically. This was second random verse of poetry he had recited to me. He said them as though they were well known. I sighed and told him to hurry up if he didn't want to be left behind. He jumped off the stump and quickly joined me at the front of the caravan. Pao-Pao setting our pace as I headed towards the Jegon.

* * *

I made it to the Jegon River just as the captain was about to set off, I had been held up by Gurdy in Marr's Pass. He insisted on accompanying me and I insisted that he stayed there. I eventually won that argument, but realized that I would be late for the ferry. I ran up to his ship as fast as I could and he was nice enough to stop and wait for me.

"Well than, young miss," the Lilty said to me, "You're lucky I am in a generous mood today. Usually I leave stragglers behind. My name is Tristan and I'm the captain of this fine ship. I'm working on some repairs right now, so she can't go out to far, just to the other side of the river."

"That's fine," I said between pants. I was bent over, my hands on my knees, trying to catch my breath.

"That'll be 50 gil than. I won't charge you for the papaopamus or the moogle," I handed him the fare and he returned to his wheel, "next stop, Jegon's West Bank."

* * *

Year 3

The Fields of Fum are truly a great symbol for the potential of peace among the tribes. The Clavats work tirelessly to cultivate the crops, the Yukes helped to irrigate the fields, and the Lilties built the roads to the village from the dock and out into the fields themselves. I can't help but feel out of place here. Selkies never seem to be mentioned in any of these stories, and I started to question what we truly mean to the other tribes.

* * *

As I headed out to my next destination I ran into Bal Dat and the rest of the Striped Brigand. I recently heard that they had killed some one, so I decided to ask them about it. They were huddled together, whispering something that I didn't quite catch. As soon as I walked up behind them, the older Selkie gasped in surprise.

"It's rude to eavesdrop, kupo!" exclaimed the moogle, Artemicion. Bal Dat turned around and glared at me. I must admit I melted a bit, he was an extremely good-looking man after all.

"What do you want?" He placed a hand on his hip and stared me down, "Are you trying to get revenge for that piece of mythril we stole off of you awhile back?"

"Oh no," I shook my head, "I had forgotten all about that," I laughed a little.

"Than what do you want?" Meh Gaj, the old man, piped up and the younger Selkie waved his hand as a signal for his elder to pipe down.

"I was in Alfitaria about a week ago and I heard that you guys had killed a man," all of their faces twisted in shock and disgust, "I just wanted to know if it were true."

"Hell no!" Bal Dat exclaimed furiously, "Killing to steal is cheap! We would never stoop that low!"

"Yeah," Artemicion interjected, "Besides, killing just for treasure leaves a bad aftertaste."

"I don't know who's' spreading that rumor, but tell them to stop," Meh Gaj added.

"Seriously," said Bal Dat, "We don't need that kind of rep."

"I understand," I reached into my bag and pulled out four striped apples, "Would you like to have lunch with me?"

They all gazed at the striped apples longingly. Bal Dat finally shook his said and glared at me.

"We don't need your sympa-" he was drowned out by the other two yelling out a loud, enthusiastic "YES PLEASE!" as they dove for the apples.

"Don't worry, I have plenty more where these came from," I laughed and threw one at the younger Selkie. He caught it easily and took a bite out of it, pretending to resent it the entire time.

Over all it was a nice lunch. I got to hear Artemicion tell me about his ambitions to be a great star someday. Meh Gaj ended up falling asleep. Artemicion did too after awhile. Soon it was just Bal Dat and me awake. I grabbed two more apples from my wagon and walked over to where he sat, holding one out to him as I bit into the other. He took it and nodded his thanks at me.

"I promise I'll tell everyone that you guys aren't murderers," I said after I swallowed and sat down next to him.

"Thanks," he grunted. We sat there for awhile in silenced and I finished my apple, throwing the core out into the field. Maybe the seed will end up sprouting and grow into a large tree. I got up and dusted myself off and climbed into my wagon, grabbing Pao-Pao's reigns. Bal Dat suddenly looked back at me and spoke up.

"Thanks for lunch. It kinda makes me feel bad, because we were planning on stealing those apples from you."

"I know," I smiled at his bewildered expression, "Next time just ask if you can have something. I usually have surplus items. I hate just dropping stuff on the ground, too. I'm more than happy to share."

"But asking takes all the fun out of it," He stood up and smiled back at me and I urged Pao-Pao to start moving. He waved at me and I waved back. They truly aren't bad people. I hope everything works out for them one day.

* * *

Year 3

Winds have always been rumored to originate in Seleption Cave. Today I found that out to be true. It was cold and windy all throughout the winding tunnels and twisting paths. The monsters were tougher than those I have previously fought, especially the Gigases. After I finally beat the cave worm, the winds seemingly stopped, and now the air is still and quiet.

Wait, I just felt a light breeze. I guess some rumors prove to be false after all.

* * *

The mail moogle had found its way to me yet again, and I laid my chronicle aside and held out my hands for my mail. The moogle quickly dropped two letters into my hand than hovered off to talk to Mog.

The first letter was from my dad. He told me that business was going well and that he wished I would send them more materials for forging weapons and armors. The thing that got me, however; was the last few lines of his letter; "Every night at dinner, I look over at your empty seat and can't help but miss your smiling face. Please hurry back soon, we miss you." I smiled and wrote a reply quickly at the bottom of his letter.

"Don't worry dad, I only have one more drop of myrrh before I can return home. I found a lot of this in Seleption Cave, please use it to forge more wonderful things." I laid a couple pieces of mythril on the letter and picked up the next one. I got butterflies in my stomach because on the front it read "From De Nam." I opened the letter excitedly.

_Dear Kirux,  
__Thank you so much for your support. I am ashamed to admit that my research so far hasn't yielded any results. My studies have come to a halt for now.  
__I hope that you are doing well. How many more drops of myrrh to you need before returning home? It must be tough on you, having so many people depending on your success. I bet you don't really want to remember what exactly is at stake for you. I'm sorry for bringing it up.  
__The monsters here are rather tough, but I manage to fend them off one way or another. I sometimes wish you were here to keep me company. This may sound awkward, but that night I spent talking to you was just so…I don't know how to explain it with words. Maybe it just felt kind of, right?  
__Anyways, I guess I'm probably freaking you out now, so I'll end this letter. To tell the truth, I don't know how much longer I can handle this.  
__Please stay safe,  
__De Nam_

I sat there and thought for a couple of moments before once again flipping to a later page in my diary and starting to write a response.

_Dearest De Nam,  
__I'm sorry that your research isn't making any progress, but you can't just give up now! You have to prove yourself to the others! Our tribe is looked down upon as nothing more than thieves and merchants. The Selkies need more people like you to represent them.  
__I think I know what you mean when you say that that night felt right. I have a very similar feeling that is just as hard to explain. I, too, wish I could be there to help find a way to eliminate miasma from the world. Yet as you mentioned, my duty is to collect myrrh to take to the people of Tipa. The pressure of this mission does get to me from time to time, but than I get a letter from a family member or and acquaintance and it helps me remember why I continue to lay my life on the line everyday. You need to hold your head up high and think positive about your goals. If you let doubt into your mind, you'll never succeed.  
__Hold on my friend, you'll find the truth soon,  
__Kirux_

I rummaged through my bag and found an old suit of amour. It was in great condition, and only had a few less defense points that what I currently had equipped. I laid that on my reply to De Nam and the mail moogle made it's way over to me. He held out his mailbag and I slipped my letters and gifts into it. I gave him (I think it was a him) a star carrot and patted his bonbon.

"I got your replies, kupo!" He said while hurriedly flying away the way he entered. I continued to sit beneath the myrrh tree and let my mind wander as I drifted into a light sleep.

* * *

Year 3

I ran into the caravan from Fum as they headed back to their village. They head already collected all three of their myrrh drops. They offered me lunch and I gladly accepted.

Afterwards Jacob started to plant the left over seeds from our picnic.

"If all goes well, these seeds will sprout into many more rainbow grape vines, and than other weary travelers will be able to fill their stomachs before embarking to their next destination," he patted the ground and stood up, wiping his hands off on his shorts.

They are a nice group of people, the Fum caravan. As they walked off to refresh their crystal, I hurried on to collect my next drop so I could also return home.

* * *

Year Three

The road to Daemon's court is long and unforgiving. It's for this reason that many caravaners are either weary or arrogant when they finally reach its gates. The name itself is a warning to keep travelers on their toes, and for good cause.

There were wraiths in this place and they proved very difficult to defeat, almost invincible until I was able to cast holy on them. The killer bees were also a bit difficult, only because they would move just as I casted gravity on them. The most difficult part was the swarms of lizardmen that would attack me all at once. The ones that threw spears were the worst, but I made it through to the final boss.

The Lizardman King was waiting for me inside of his coliseum when I arrived. He was big and slow, so it was very easy to dodge his attacks, except for the times he would shoot a spray of crossbow bolts at me. That attack nearly killed me a couple of times. He also had a trap set up for me; two large saw blades that would pop out of the ground whenever I, or one of his lackeys, stepped on either of the switches. He mustn't have been all too bright though, because I easily used this against him to defeat him rather quickly.

It's weird the things monsters will do to keep us caravaners away from the myrrh trees.

* * *

I closed the book and my eyes simultaneously. I was drained of all my strength. I was not looking forward to the long journey home, and yet I couldn't wait to get there at the same time. The mail moogle appeared right on time and let two letters fall onto my lap. I picked the first one up; it was from my mother again. She was reminding me to stop by Fum and try their marvelous produce. I replied saying that I already had, and that I would buy some more for the trip home. I also sent her a pressed flower I had found by the well in Marr's Pass. I set that aside and, despite my fatigue, eagerly opened the next letter labeled 'From De Nam.'

_My dearest Kirux,  
__Knowing that you, too, felt our connection has made me very happy. I was starting to feel weird about it, hoping that I wouldn't scare you off. You're letters are the only ones I receive, and I find myself looking forward to them more and more with each passing day.  
__Thank you for your never ending support and the lovely armor you sent me. But I may have to admit that this task may be beyond my abilities. I keep on trying to make the connection between monsters and miasma. Monsters and miasma, miasma and monsters. There is a link there that I have yet to discover.  
__I hope you have completed this year's myrrh harvest and are safely back home with your family now. If so, I'm sorry for bothering you with this letter.  
__I cannot wait to hear from you again,  
__De Nam_

Attached to his letter was a piece of orichalcum. I marveled at it for a few seconds before I reached for my chronicle and began to write in one of the back pages. This reaction was becoming almost routine, yet I didn't mind all that much.

_Dearest De Nam,  
__It's weird to have the feelings I think I have for you. We only spent one night together, and yet I find myself thinking about you more often than not. I am not home yet, but I have just collected my last drop of myrrh for this year. I am quite exhausted, but have enough energy to write you this letter. And do not worry, your letters are never a bother to me. Thank you for your marvelous gift, I'm sure my father will be able to make something wonderful out of it.  
__I have the purest confidence that you will soon find the connect between the monsters and the miasma, you just need to relax a bit more and let the answer come to you, instead of tirelessly pursuing it. I find I have the same problem when trying to make it through a dungeon sometimes. The more I rush to find my way to the boss, the farther I get from reaching my goal. But when I take me time to think things out thoroughly, I find the path much easier to spot.  
__Never give up on your dreams,  
__Kirux_

I couldn't find anything to match his gift, so I took off the necklace I have worn since I was a small girl. I was a gift you're my mother for one of my earliest birthdays. The mail moogle was already hovering in front of me with his/her bag open, waiting for me to finish up.

"I'm sorry for taking so long, little moogle," I slipped in my replies and patted his bonbon before handing him a gourd potato.

"It's alright, kupo," he turned and made his way out to deliver my letters.

* * *

End of year 3

So ends my third year as Tipa's caravan. As time goes on, I find some of my memories from previous years start to dim a little. It's sad to think that my memories of those times will one day disappear. Yet at the same time I know that looking back at the past only saddens us as we look at the present. It's for these reasons I try to only look ahead. I have to go now; my family wants to hear about my tales from the past years events. They seem particularly interested in De Nam. I think they are hoping for us to become more than just friends. I am sure that will never happen, as I do not believe he has those kinds of emotions for me in the slightest. How could he really? We are nothing more than letters to each other.

* * *

I set my book aside with a sigh.

"Nothing more than letters," I didn't have time to dwell on this though as my brother grabbed my hand and pulled me off the bench, dragging me into the singing and dancing that was taking place around the crystal. It's light had once again been replenished by my efforts. I should have been rejoicing with the others, but I couldn't help but look up at the sky and secretly wish that you could be here, too.


	3. Year Four

To the readers: Sorry for the delay, I had PC troubles. Now that's it's fixed and school's out I trying very hard to update whenever I can. With four fics running at once I have to be careful not to neglect one for another. I suppose it's my own fault, but I'll manage just fine. Side note: I decided that out of the nine letters De Nam actually send you, two of them are basically the same. I'm going to take another artistic liberty and combine them. If you wanna check yourself its letter number five and six. Anyways, enough rambling for now.  
Please review. I don't care if all you say is "Hi."  
Kirux

* * *

Disclaimer: I still don't own it, okay!? Thanks for constantly reminding me! (runs off crying)

* * *

Letters From De Nam  
Chapter Two: Year Four

* * *

Today is the last day I get to relax at home before setting out for another year's worth of myrrh. My family is running around trying to find useful things for me to take on my journey. I tell them not to bother, I usually find everything I need along the way.

"Nonsense!" my Dad exclaimed while hammering out some new armour for me, "It's your job as a crystal caravaner to go find the myrrh. Because of that, it's our job as your family to help as best we can!"

"Yeah, Sis, " Deh Tiy, my younger brother, said, "WE have to make sure that you keep up the good work. What if one day you set out and didn't have enough apples? You'd get hungry and die! Than we'd all be really sad."

"Only because the crystal wouldn't get restored," I said softly, almost scornfully.

"Nu uh!" my little sister, Momo Phiy, squeaked, "We wouldn't care about the crystal! We would miss you!"

"That's right dear. No matter how much it may not seem like it, we think about you every minute of everyday and worry," mom said in that kind, motherly way, "Isn't that right Zeh Gatt?"

"Sure is Rah Sie," he continued to pound away at the amour, "On an entirely different note, you never did explain were you got this orichalcum."

"Hehe," I giggled nervously and looked away, "Err…De Nam sent it to me from Conall Curach."

"Ooooo!" Momo squealed, "Kirux' got a booooooyfrieeeeeend!!"

"I MOST CERTAINLY DO NOT!" I yelled, swatting at her. She dodged and ran off, giggling.

"Jeez, sis. If this guy isn't your boyfriend why are you blushing so much?" Deh Tiy laughed as I glared at him.

"I'm not blushing! Mom tell him I'm not blushing!" I'm pretty sure I was whining, but really! Thinking that de Nam and I were…dating? How could we? It's thoroughly impossible.

"Okay dear," my mom looked over at me brother, "You're sister isn't blushing."

"Really?" he asked.

"No," she admitted with a sigh.

"Mom you traitor!" I turned around and marched up to the cape. Gyah…who needs a family anyways?

I sat down on the edge of the cliff and looked out across the horizon. Miasma swirled and covered the sky with a thick purple haze. I sighed wishing that one day I would be able to sit here and gaze out into a blue sky. I closed my eyes and laid back, swinging my feet back and forth.

One-day, maybe I'll be able to sit here with you.

* * *

Year Four

I stopped at the Mushroom forest on my way to the Jegon to collect myself an easy drop of myrrh. Some things have changed in the forest, mushrooms have grown and blocked the previous path, yet also unveiled new ones. Some new monsters have made there home in the forest, but the Malboro was still awaiting me at the end. I beat it so easily in comparison to my first struggle with him. The only thing that really bothered me was his new ability to slow my movements, this proved nearly fatal a couple times when I couldn't cast cure quick enough. I learned how to dodge this new attack and defeated him with a well-placed focus attack.

I closed my chronicle just as I heard the mail moogle chirp as it flew towards me. I found myself leaping up and running to meet it. I quickly opened my hands and the little fur ball dropped a single letter into my hands. I nearly squeed with joy as I saw the label on the front: 'From De Nam'. I hastily ripped it open and walked back to my spot under the myrrh tree, reading it along the way.

_My Dearest Kirux,  
Thanks to your advice, I believe I have finally figured out the connection between the monsters and the miasma! You see; the miasma is toxic to us because we're always trying to rid ourselves of it. The monsters, on the other hand, readily except the miasma and they live perfectly fine in it. I can't believe that I didn't see it before now!  
__The orichalcum was no big deal; there's plenty of it just lying around here. The necklace you sent looked very old. Is it an heirloom of yours? If so, I am honored that you would give me such a gift. It doesn't seem like a fair trade, all I sent you was a mere hunk of metal.  
__I'm glad that my feelings aren't unrequited, for it would be rather awkward if they were. Than again, for me to be in love with a girl I briefly met and now only send letters to…that's quite awkward as well. I too, think about you quite often. I do so believe that I am now adamant on dispatching the miasma so that maybe one-day, you and I can meet again and enjoy a better world.  
__If you're reading this than you must have started on another year of myrrh gathering. I'm glad you safely made it back home and I wish you the best of luck throughout the upcoming length of your journey.  
__With Love,  
__De Nam_

My mind slightly froze a bit. Did he just say that he…loves me? My stomach twisted a little bit and I started to feel a little nauseous. I sat down against the tree trunk and laid my head back. I wasn't sure that I felt the same way…or did I? What else could explain the feeling I get whenever I see the mail moogle? I know I'm only really looking forward to his letters. It all seemed so ridiculous, though. To be in love with someone you barely know? Can you fall completely in love with someone that easily? No, love like that only occur in fairy tales and romance books. Than again, why is my heart beating so fast? I grabbed my chronicle and began to write.

_Darling De Nam,  
__When you first said 'feelings' I was not aware that you meant love. I find it impossible to fall in love with someone that you know merely through letters. Yet, I also find myself believing that I have done the impossible. Right now, all I know is that I look forward to entering a dungeon and gathering a myrrh drop, not because it brings me one step closer to going home, but because I know that when I do a moogle will bring me another letter from you. If this isn't love, why is my heart beating so fast right now? Why does it feel as though butterflies are fluttering around in my stomach? Yes, it must be love; or else none of this put together would make sense.  
__I'm glad that your efforts have finally given way to results. It seems like a very interesting theory. As long as you keep your mind focused, you will surely uncover more truth on the subject at hand. If it does turn out that the reason is because we reject the miasma, maybe there is a way that we can adapt to it? I know that sounds silly, but it was just a though. Heh, maybe I should just leave the science to you.  
__That necklace was gift I got from my mother a very long time ago. She told that as long as I wear it I would always be protected by her love. I give it to you, telling you the same thing. My father made me a very nice suit of armour from that mere hunk of metal. He, along with the rest of my family, asked me where I had found it and I told you had sent it. My younger siblings didn't hesitate to start teasing me. Mother says that you sound like a fine boy and that what you are doing is a very noble. They all hope to meet you one day, and I feel the same. One day when the sky is clear of poisons, we will be able to go home together.  
__Love,  
__Kirux_

The moogle was hovering in front of me, patiently waiting for my reply. I folded the letter neatly and slipped it into the little satchel around its neck. I held out a cob of round corn and it began to eat it with much enthusiasm. I chuckled and little and patted its bonbon when it was finished.

"Thanks for the corn! I'll get this sent right away, kupo!" The little moogle flew off into the darkness of the forest.

"Kirux, we should get going, before it becomes too dark to leave," Mog piped up. I stood up, holding my chronicle in my arms. I set it in the back of my wagon and took the newest letter from De Nam and slipped into a small box where I kept all the letters I receive. I climbed up into the caravan and made my way up to the driver's seat. Taking Pao-Pao's reigns and shaking them lightly, I hurried to my next location and my next letter.

* * *

Year Four

I ran into Sol Racht today. He spoke feverishly of the Black Knight. It seems that the Knight once set out on a great journey with a priest by the name of Hurdy. Their goal was nothing short of ridding the world of miasma. They traveled deep into the swamps of Rebena Plains, and seemingly vanished until the Black Knight appeared a few years ago. He used to be a very disciplined and courageous lancer, a true knight. Now it seems as though he nothing more than a berserk fighter with no memories of his former life. I almost feel sorry for him. Sol couldn't except this conclusion and has sworn to find out more about what happened to the Black Knight while he was in depths of Rebena Plains.

* * *

After my encounter with the Alfitaria caravan I decided to cross over to the fields of Fum. As I approached the ferry I saw a small head pop up from behind the wheel. It was none other than Tristan, the ferry's Lilty Captain.

"Ah, it's the young lass from before! I see you're on time today," He hopped down from his stand and walked over to me.

"Yes, I was thinking about crossing the river," I stopped and laid my hand on Pao-Pao's reigns.

"Is that so," He wiped his hands on a rag and smiled at me, "Well, I just finished up the repairs to her haul…so she can sail a bit further out than last year."

"Really?" That seemed interesting. One of the perks of being in a caravan was being able to see new exciting places.

"Aye, I can pro'ly get her to Mount Kilanda, but it'll cost you a pretty penny," he lowered the gate and I reached for my change purse and made my way up to him.

"How much?" I opened my wallet.

"500 gil fer a round trip," he held out his hand I fished out the fare. It wasn't all that bad, I had sold lots of things that I didn't need back at Marr's Pass. He stepped aside and I lead my papaopamus onto the boats, "Ye sure you're all set? There aren't any towns at Kilanda."

"I should be fine," and with that he set course for my next drop of myrrh.

* * *

Year Four

Note to self: Never fucking come here again. EVER.

Mount Kilanda is a caravaner's worst nightmare. As if the hordes of Ahriman, fire resistant ones to boot, aren't bad enough, there were swarms of Blazer Beetles, dozens of Ogres, and a couple Coeurl packs. Add in the fact that Mount Kilanda is a fucking active VOLCANO and the boss here was an Iron GIANT the past couple days have been a fucking walk in the park. That Iron Giant was a real bitch, too. I had spied one or two of his goblin lackeys carrying one of his huge swords and scared them off. But I had obviously missed one because as soon as his first sword broke a little goblin jump out of no where and handed him another one, smiling evilly at me the entire time. I finally managed to beat him though, and hastily collected my myrrh drop. I'm back on the boat now and I see a little moogle flying towards me. It's mail time!

* * *

I walked to the edge on the boat and the mail moogle had two letters for my in its little mouth. I opened a hand and he dropped them before taking lift and flying over to the captain's wheel, starting a conversation with Tristan. The first letter was from Momo Phiy.

_Dear Big Sis,  
__Hi! I just wanted to send you a letter to tell you that the flower seed you sent to Deh Tiy a few months ago was really a fruit seed! Now there's a striped apple tree in our front lawn! It's starting to get really big, and the farmers in town said that it should start blooming soon. I was thinking about naming it, but I'm not exactly sure what would be an appropriate name. What do you think we should call it?  
__Please write back!  
__Momo_

I chuckled softly. It was nice seeing such innocence and carefreeness nowadays. I picked up a pen ripped off the unused portions of the paper she wrote me on and started to pen a reply.

_Dear Momo,  
__I'm sorry it wasn't a flower, sometimes those seeds are very hard to tell apart. The good thing is now everyone will have plenty of striped apples to eat. They're free too, so it can't get much better than that. As for a name, well…how about Steve?  
__Please take care and tell everyone I send my love,  
__Kirux_

I looked inside me bag and found that jade bracer I had made while I was in Shella the other year. I don't use it much anymore, but I suppose Momo would love it. I rolled up the letter and slipped the bracelet around it, putting it to the side and grabbed the next letter labeled 'From De Nam.'

_Dearest Kirux,  
__You are a genius, my love. There must be a way for us to adapt to the miasma, like the monsters have. After a little more research I have discovered two more things; the monsters are IMMUNE to the miasma and that the water here actually contains trace amounts of miasma. I'm hoping that by consuming said water that I will gradually adapt to the miasma as well. If I can achieve this, than maybe one day we all can. I slightly afraid of the side effects, but as you said; I have your love to protect me so I will surely survive this.  
__One day when all of my research is over, I will surely return to your home with you. I look forward to the day that we can meet your family together, side by side.  
__All of my love,  
__De Nam_

I had already ripped out a couple sheets of paper and kept them tucked in the back, I pulled one out and began writing a response immediately.

_My Darling De Nam,  
__You surely have come a long way with your study than I originally thought you would. Even though I admit I doubted you a bit in the beginning, I am now positive that you will succeed in find a remedy to the miasma. I must also confess that I am worried about you. Drinking miasma doesn't sound all that pleasant, and it has to wreak havoc with your body. I hope you are safe and that you have enough sense to quit if it becomes too dangerous.  
__When we return to Tipa, it will not be just my home, but yours as well.  
__Love,  
__Kirux_

I sighed and looked around. I felt as if I should write more, but I couldn't think of any words to say. I was genuinely concerned about him. I heard the flutter of wings and turned around to see the mail moogle flying towards me, its leather satchel in its paws. I slid my responses in the bag and handed him a striped apple; he shook his head in refusal and flew off across the ocean. I stared after him, wishing that I had wings so that I could fly to you as well.

* * *

Year Four

Gurdy. Again. This time I caught him swindling Amidatti from the Shella caravan. He was selling them a perfectly ordinary loaf of bannock saying that it was a model of the world. Amidatti asked about some mold on it and the swindler quickly retorted saying that it represented the miasma. The nerve of him! I marched up to him and scolded him for taking advantage of good people. I shrugged at me and recited more poetry; "_Lonely mushroom bursts to flame, in the land that quicksands claim_" Ugh, he's still here.

* * *

I closed my chronicle and walked over to Gurdy who was sitting beneath a tree, staring out into the sky. I placed a hand on my hip and stood in front of him.

"Do you need a ride somewhere, Gurdy?"

"Actually, I do, but that's not why I'm sitting here," He looked at me and smiled. If he wasn't such a charlatan I would se he was cute.

"Than what are you doing?" I asked irritably.

"I was just remembering something my brother once told me," he sighed and stood up.

"You have a brother?"

"Yes, I don't remember him very well. In fact, I'm not even sure I've ever met him," He stared back across the field, "'_Three rocks await the winter's kiss. One by one they find their bliss.'_ He said that this was one of the last clues to the great treasure beneath the sand."

"One of the last clues? What were the others ones?" I asked, slightly curious.

"I'm," he paused to look back at me, "I'm not exactly sure…"

I sighed and grabbed his arm, dragging him over to the caravan, "I'm dropping you off at Mar's Pass again. I want to go get the myrrh drop from River Bell Pass and get home so I can have a nice long break before I have to leave again."

* * *

Year Four

River Bell Pass was just as easy as the Mushroom Forest. There were some new monsters as well; it seems some Griffins have made a nest here. Everything was rather easy to beat, even though the Giant Crab has master the thundaga spell. I collected the drop of myrrh and am now enjoying a nice lunch before heading down the road to Tipa.

* * *

I actually got the time to finish my meal and clean the gobby guts off my racket before the mail moogle arrived. It dropped three letters in my lap and a small purse that sounded as though it was full of gold.

"I'm sorry I'm late," it panted slightly, "Some cook held me up in Mar's Pass."

"Ahh, it's okay," I offered it was left of the fruit salad I had concocted and began to eat eagerly.

The first letter was a reply from Momo. She said that Steve was a wonderful name and hoped to see me soon. I didn't bother replying because I would just see her later tonight. The second was from Gurdy.

_Caravaner Kirux,  
I am sorry I have put you through so much trouble. I decided that maybe I should follow my brother's footsteps and become a priest. Inside the bag is the 1,000 gil I owe you for the whole package incident. I also remember what the other clues are;_  
"_Lightning brings the cactus pain. Now it all begins again.  
Of crumbled inn few reminisce. Its faulty beams shall not be missed.  
Lonely mushroom bursts to flame, in the land that quicksands claim.  
Three rocks await the winter's kiss. One by one they find their bliss."  
For some reason, I feel as though a verse is missing. Maybe if you ever see me brother, he will be able to tell you the final clue.  
Sincerely,  
Gurdy_

I was perplexed by this letter, so I set is aside and opened the purse. Sure enough there was what appeared to be 1,000 gil in there. I set that aside and picked up the last letter; 'From De Nam.'

_Dear Kirux,  
__Thank you for your concern, but I have already been drinking the water for quite some time now. The pain it brings was nearly unbearable at first, but now that I have been consuming for a longer amount of time it seems to have lessened. I am think that as long as I can get through this, there is nothing that I cannot accomplish.  
__Sometimes I feel as though I am going insane, but than a letter from you arrives and I come to my senses. Being secluded for so long has surely taking its toll on me, but I must persevere for everyone's sake, not just my own. I must stop writing now, I have no energy left.  
__At this rate, we will soon be together,  
__De Nam_

_My love,  
__Please, do not push yourself so far! There must be another way for you to solve this puzzle. I fear for your safety so much. I do not wish for you to stop your research, but drinking that water seems to be killing you! Please, return to Shella and I will meet you there next year. Please De Nam…don't die.  
__Kirux_

I felt like crying. I was so scared that he was going to die in that horrid swamp all by himself. I was afraid I would never see him again. I ran over to wear the moogle was perched and handed him my letter, he took and flew off.

"Hurry up Mog, we must return home and replenish our crystal," I grabbed Pao-Pao's reigns and began to make me way back to the road.

"Why are we in such a hurry?" He inquired flapping his wings desperately to catch up.

"So that we can start on next year's rounds," was all I said.

* * *

End of Year Four

The end of my fourth year as Tipa's caravan has arrived, and I find myself forgetting many of my earliest memories, from the thrill of slaying my first goblins to the amazement of seeing a city for the first time. I don't want collecting myrrh to be the only thing that keeps me going. Well truthfully, it isn't. The real goal for my collecting myrrh now is to get letters from De Nam. I do not agree with what he is doing, but as long as he stays safe, I won't interfere. He is working towards giving us hope for the future…and that can never be a bad thing.

* * *

I closed my book and laid it on my bed. I rested my head in my hands and sighed, feeling the tears start to fall down my cheeks. Please be safe my love…please.

* * *

Oh noes! The drama monster has found this fic! It'll be okay in the end, I promise.  
Super extra awesome points if you get the Dark Cloud 2 reference in this chapter.  
Until next time,  
Kirux


	4. Year Five Prelude

Note from the authoress: IT'S ALIVE!!!! (Also forgive any spelling/grammatical errors. As usually I wrote this late at night half asleep.)

Disclaimer: Even after two years, I don't own Crystal Chronicles.

* * *

Year Five

"What do you mean you I can't cross the river?" I stomped my foot and growled.

"Woah there lassie, don't be biting me head off! I canno' be 'elpin it. The river's been cut off from the source. If ye be wanting to cross ye'll hafta go to Veo Lu Sluice and get the water a-flowing again," Tristan said, backing up slowly.

I huffed loudly and stomped away, climbing back up into my wagon and urging Pao-Pao to start going. I heard Mog sigh, like he wanted to say something, but he didn't and I glared into the night sky. Miasma clouds swirled and moved over the cresent moon, leaving the night dark and empty save for my small lamp as it bobbed along the path towards Shella. Things had been silent since we left earlier this night...

* * *

"C'mon Mog we're leaving," I had shaken the poor little moogle awake as I threw my bag into the wagon.

"But Kirux...we just got home...and I'm sleepy," Mog yawned and stood up, wobbling slightly.

"I know we did, but leaving now means we'll have so much more time to get Mrryh...and so much more time to find him..."

"But your family needs you, too..." he waddled over to the end of the bed and gave a little push, flapping his wings slowly to keep himself hovering there in front of me.

"They'll be fine. I'm gone all the time anyways, leaving early won't matter much," I looked away from him and hitched Pao-Pao to the reigns and climbed into the drover's seat. "Listen, I'm leaving now and I'd much appreciate your help, but if I must I will leave without you."

Mog sighed and chirruped sadly as I plopped down next to me. I didn't wake anyone else up, I didn't leave a letter, and most importantly; I didn't look back.

* * *

I stopped shortly in Marr's pass for a quick nap, nothing more than a few hours sleep before I was right back to riding to Shella. On the way I passed many caravans, some heading back out, most heading back home. I approached the guard Yuke, who waved at me once, slowly and solemnly.

"Miss Kirux, how good to see you again, if you've come for the Myrrh tree, I wish you luck. The flowers that pump the water from the sluice to the river have all dried up. Amidatti is currently still out with the caravan, who happen to be stranded on the other side of the river banks. We hope the flowers replenish before the year is up...if not Shella may be no more."

I nodded at him, and looked out across the small stream into the depths of Shella. "How would one go about reviving the pump flowers?"

"The same way one would revive anything, with the power of Life," he stepped forward to my wagon and handed me a small golden ring with a topaz jewel on it.

"I understand," I took the ring and slipped it onto my finger, "I will return before the day is out."

I turned Pao-Pao around and slapped his reigns hard, urging him to go faster as I raced to Veo Lu Sluice. Every second I waste...is one less second I have until...until De Nam...

* * *

Year Five

With the power of the Life Ring the Yuke guard lent me, I was able to restore all of the water flowers to full bloom. As I stand under the myrrh tree and look out, I can see the sluice already start to over flow, I do not know how long it will take for the river to return to its full capacity, but I pray it doesn't take long. I must rest now, the monsters here were tough and bountiful. At least I have a myrrh drop out of this entire ordeal. I've no time to waste, I must go check with the Yukes to see how long befre the river is full.

* * *

"I've mail for you," the Mail Mog hovered next to me with with one lone letter. The sun glinted off the ink and the letters "From De Nam" showed brightly, though the writing looked like it was scrawled on there by a child.

_My love,_

_I'm sorry for the quality of my words, my body grows weaker by the minute. I can no longer remember your face, nor your smell, nor the sound of your voice. All I know is your handwriting, those beaultiful swirly letters that flow like the water of this wretched land. How I wish...how I wish I could turn back time to that night and say and do all that I wanted to...How I wish...how I long....so soon though...just a little...and then...I'll be truly free..._

I stared at the letter, and I stared at Mog, and I stared at the water flowing down...ever so far down...and I just stood there, I don't know for how long, but it wasn;t until a single tear drop fell down my cheek and splattered onto the page did I snap up my pen and a paper and scrawled a very short note to my love and shoved it at the mail mog. I don;t know what I was thinking as I ran out of the sanctuary, on my own, no Mog nor Pao-Pao to protect me as I ran and ran and ran, trying to make it to someplace I didn't know how to get to. It was until the miasma started choking me, until I grasped my chest and panted for air, that I came to my senses. I looked around wildly, lost in the maze of the sluice, trying to scream but not being able to. The miasma closed around me and I collapsed to my knees.

* * *

I don't know what happened after that, all I know is I woke up outside in my wagon, hazily looking around to see Mog talking to somebody vaguely familiar. The figure looked over to me and I reached my hand out for him...

"De...Nam..."my hand fell down as my eyes shut, my body shutting down once again. Had it been you...or...

The next time I came to, I was lying on a bed that seemed oddly familiar. I looked around slowly as my sense woke up. My eyes adjusted and I sat up, wincing in pain as my body wretched in pain.

* * *

"You shouldn't be moving so soon," I looked up to see Bal Dat holding a cup of hot tea walking through the door."

"How did I get here?"

"We heard from the guard you had entered the Sluice, we decided to come see what kind of loot we could yoink from the monsters you killed. I found you collapsed without your Moogle friend in the middle of a pathway. I shielded you with my pocket crystal until we found your wagon," he handed the tea too me.

"Right...I meant into..." I took the tea and looked down into it, "into...this house."

"The Yuke guard actually led us here, said that this place was vacant ever since the crazy selkie left."

I looked up at him, violence in my eyes as I stared him down, "DE NAM IS NOT CRAZY! HE'S A BRILLIANT PERSON!!!! And right now..." I sobbed heavily, "and right now he's dieing to try and save us all."

"Doesn't seem all that smart to throw away your life just to try and save the world...one can do so much more alive than dead."

I threw the mug against the wall, the hot tea still steaming on the ground, "WHAT WOULD YOU KNOW OF SACRIFICE! WHEN HAVE YOU EVER CARED ENOUGH TO RISK YOURSELF FOR SOMEONE ELSE!!!" I broke down, holding my knees to my chest, crying. Crying loud and heavy and ugly.

"I guess...I guess I wouldn't," I was too lost in my own pain to realise the sadness in his words. He turned around and slowly closed the door. I heard him lean against it and slowly slide down it until he was sitting on the floor.

As I cried I held your pillow to me, sobbing into it as I smelled the last lingerings of your scent. Your smile flashed briefly in my mind, your cheeks flushed slightly as you chopped potatoes. I fell asleep holding your pillow, cause in my mind I was holding you. Tomorrow...I'll leave again tomorrow...

_De Nam,  
__I'm coming for you...  
__Kirux_


End file.
